Monday, September 6, 2010

Marriage Humor - TPS

Marriage  Humor

         'What are you doing?'  


         'Nothing...?  You've been reading our marriage
 certificate for an hour.'

    'I was looking for the expiration date.'  

------------ --------- --------- -

:        'Do you want dinner?'  

      'Sure! What  are my choices?'  

         'Yes or no.'        

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
      'You always carry my  photo in your wallet..  Why?'

          'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'  

          'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'

          'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'    

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Stress  Reliever
Girl:       'When we get  married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'    

      'It's very  kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'    

      'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'

------------ --------- ---------

      'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'  

   'Well, you have done the right thing..'  

      'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'  

____________ _________ _________ __

A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'  

'Honey,'  the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'  

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---    

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.

The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning..'

------------ --------- --------- -

A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of  humor!'


Husbands are husbands

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him on the  head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.
The wife replied  'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in  your pants pocket'.
The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on'
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit him again.
Wife replied.  'Your horse phoned'

Let us  pray........ ......... ...

Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of  life,
And pass it on to other folk.



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