Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Fwd: Fw: Fwd: Good ones




BOY : May I hold your hand?

GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.


GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!

BOY : You love me...


GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring

BOY : Sure, what's your phone number


GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.

BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple


GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.

BOY : Don't you ever want to improve


BOY : I love you and I could die for you!

GIRL : How soon


BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!

GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there


SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning

kiss

TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the

cigarette out of his mouth.


MAN : You remind me of the sea.

WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?

MAN : NO, because you make me sick.


WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear

and comes out of the other.

HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both

ears and comes out of the mouth.


MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andrew says I'm ugly.What

do u think,

Peter?

PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.


1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and

no one else ?"

Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again

yesterday".


2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun

or the moon?"

Pupil : "The moon".

Teacher : "Why?"

Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need

it but the sun gives us light only in the day time

when we don't need it".


3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on

talking when people are no longer interested?"

Pupil : "A teacher".


4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"

Customer : "What other colors do you have?"


5) My father is so old that when he was in school,

history was called current affairs.


6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"

Sam : "It's a family tradition".

Teacher : "What do you mean?"

Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father

is a teacher".

Teacher : "What about your mother?"

Sam : "She's a woman".

7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father

that I've failed?"

David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared,

past year's performance repeated".


8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a

donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be

showing?"

Student : "Brotherly love".


9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say

prayers before eating?"

Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good

cook".



10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering

doctor?"

Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show

that nine out of ten people die of the disease you

have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others

all died".









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