Thursday, October 10, 2013

Fwd: Fw: !! Creative Humour !!

An Indian lawyer defending a man in New York accused of burglary tried this creative defence:
"My client, Keswani, merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles
His arm is not his total self, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."

"Well put," the Judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's Arm to 5 year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."

The defendant, Keswani, smiled. With his Lawyer's assistance he coolly detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out. ....
Don't try to mess with an Indian lawyer.
A little Aussie humour...
An Italian, a Frenchman and an Aussie were talking about screams of passion.
The Italian said:
"Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with the finest extra virgin
olive oil, then we made passionate love and I made her scream, non stop for five minutes.

The Frenchman said: ...
"Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with special aphrodisiac oil from Provence
and then we made passionate love. I made her scream for fifteen minutes straight."

The Aussie said:
That's nothing! Last night I massaged my wife ,y'know, all over
her body with a special butter. I caressed her entire body with the
butter, and then made love and I made her scream for two long hours."

The Italian and Frenchman, astonished, asked, "Two full hours?!
that's phenomenal. How did you do it to make her scream for two hours?"
The Aussie replied ,
"I wiped my hands on the curtains."


Three Irishmen are
sitting in the pub window seat, Watching the front door of the brothel
over the road.

The ...local Methodist pastor appears, and quickly goes inside. "Would you look
at that!" says the first Irishman. "Didn't I always say what a bunch of hypocrites they are?"

No sooner are the words out of his mouth than a Rabbi appears at the door,
Knocks, and goes inside.
"Another one trying to fool everyone with pious preaching and stupid hats!"

They continue drinking their beer roundly condemning the vicar and the rabbi
When they see their own Catholic priest knock on the door.

"Ah, now dat's sad." says the third Irishman. "One of the  girls must have died."

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