The Sri Lanka Parliamentarian's English Exam (P.E.E.)!

 
The Sri Lanka Parliamentarian's English Exam (P.E.E.)!
 
This is a true transcript, of an essay written by a Sri Lankan M.P., at the  Parliamentarian's English Exam ( P.E.E.). As many Sri Lankan Parliamentarians  Failed it, P.E.E. Is not done, in the Sri Lankan Parliament any more.
 
The Sri Lanka Elefant
 
There is a three Sri Lanka elefants.  One is a home elefant.  Two is a Val  Elefant.  Three is a UNP party animal.  The elefant has 4 leggs.  Elefant has  Long thrunk, hanging between 2 white iworry tasks, some have on both side of  Hanging thrunk.  These iworry is very moneyful.  Some bad men rape the Val  Elefant, to get iworry and sell for money.  Elefants like to eat banananas,  Bunns, gnanakathas, like that.  It like to drink milk and toddy two..  Like  You and other people, elefants send extra food, out to the world, from the  Behind of the backside, at the back.  Elefants have tails.  This is to move  The fly.  Some time elefant is moving tail, this way that way, but fly is not  Going out.  Elefant never forgets.  One storey I tell you.  One day, one man  Pulling elefant's tail hard, and run away.  You know no, how elefant. 50 years  After pulling tail, man has died.  When the dead man is going to the Kanatta,  Our elefant is going near the mini-box, and lifting his tail, do large dung,  And going away.  Elefant very remember, what man did know.
 
Elefants are vary istrong.  It can puss trees..  It pusses and pusses, and the  Tree downfalls.  Elefant is conthrolled, by mahout man.  Mahout man is using  Tall hooker, to pull Elefant's ear, and he sometimes pulls Elefant's leg  Also.  But Mahout man love Elefant, and puts his bananana in Elefant's mouth,  If he is good.  Zoo elefant can dunce.  Zoo Elefant can dunce and play his  Own organ.  It also can shit on its stool.  If you give money, Zoo elefant  Will take you for a ride, down garden path.  Elefant, is large gift to people  Of SriLanka.  We must look after our elefant, then we can use elefant to do  Things on the fields, in the jungle, in the zoo.  Also, then we can have  Lots of baby elefants..  Then we can ex-fort elefants, to other cunttrees and  Be povertyless.