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Sunday, December 16, 2012
How to kill a Lion!
Methods to kill a Lion
Newton Method: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Let, the lion catch you. This implies that you caught the lion.
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily.
Software Engineer Method:
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proved that its a Lion.
If anyone comes back with issues tell him that you will upgrade it to Lion.
Sri Lankan Police Method:
Catch any animal, interrogate & torture it to accept that it is a lion .
One Shot Method:
Keep warning the lion that you may come and attack it anytime.
The lion will live in fear and die soon through fear.
Dushanth Weeraman method:
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 to 6 days.
The Lion will try to imitate and die of a heart attack.
George bush method:
Link the lion with Osama bin laden and then bomb it !!!
Mahela Jayawardena method: Ask the lion to bowl at you. You bat for 200 balls and score 1 run. The Lion will get tired and surrender.
Mervin / Duminda Silva Method
Inject or insert enough pills of drugs into a piece of meat and throw it to the Lion.
When it eats the meat and becomes out of sorts you can easily trap it.
Ranil Wickramasinghe method:
Ask the lion to wait till he becomes the President.
The Lion may wait another 20 years and finally commit suicide or die of old age.
Alternatively tell the lion to wait until he appoints a committee to look into the issue and do not appoint the members to the committee and blame MTV & Sirasa for the delay. Result would be the same as in method 1.
Mahinda Rajapaksha method:
Ask Gota to abduct the lion in a white van, make it disappear.
Then send Mohan Peiris to inform the UNO that the lion lives in another country.