Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Must Read


 

 ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
____________ _________ _________




 


OFFICE  ARITHMETIC
 

Smart boss +  smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb  boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime  
____________ _________ ________
 




 


SHOPPING  MATH
 

A man will pay $20  for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she  doesn't need.
____________ _________ ________
 




 


GENERAL  EQUATIONS & STATISTICS


A woman worries  about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the  future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more  money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find  such a man.
____________ _________ ________
 




 


HAPPINESS
 

To be happy with  a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy  with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.  
____________ _________ _________
 




 

 

 

LONGEVITY  

Married men live  longer than single men do,

but married men are a lot more willing to die.  
____________ _________ _________
 




 


PROPENSITY  TO CHANGE
 

A woman marries a  man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman  expecting that she won't change, and she does.  
____________ _________ ________
 




 


DISCUSSION  TECHNIQUE
 

A woman has the  last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the  beginning of a new argument.
 
__ ____________ _________ ______
 




 

 

 

HOW  TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED  
Old aunts used  to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling  me, "
You're next.."

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them  at funerals.  




 
 

SEND  THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN  HANDLE IT

 








 

 

 



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